If you’re not, it’s a site where people send in their horrifying customer service experiences. They get turned into blog posts, and perhaps at some later point the big bad mega-corporation contacts them to make things right.

Well, sometimes it doesn’t, but even when it doesn’t happen, it makes for entertaining reading.

But that is neither here nor there. This submission was by a guy who was absolutely outraged by the customer service experience he received. I guess a reading of all the evidence showed that he was his own problem, so he ended up as the bad guy in the story and the poor longsuffering customer service person ended up deserving a medal.

He needs a spanking, really badly.

The post

Somewhat later, not having heard from him for a while, I sent him another payment mail. Hey, quality site hosting costs, right? He didn’t respond and I moved the file and didn’t think of it again.

Flash forward. He shows up again, looking for much the same things. He contacted me wanting to buy some sort of graphic design – a frilly, girly thing – because it was his birthday. He didn’t buy anything, but showed me a mistress site where his pic was, and said that she wouldn’t take it down.

Hmm. There’s my loser again, just with a different name. Same old same old. He was surprised that I recognized him. Oh, well, can’t help that I’m smarter than he is. He’ll probably be surprised that I right-clicked to save that photo of him, don’t you think?

Like I said, he’d asked for a design, so I emailed him suggesting that he buy a nice pink email template to use whenever he’s mailing through Niteflirt. He asked if he was going to have to pay. LOLOL, you fucking cheapskate.

Do you work for free? Well, I don’t either.

What happened next? He sent me (and every other Mistress on Niteflirt, apparently) an email asking them what he should shave while he drinks a bottle of beer. And by the way, he told me he’s an English teacher. Look at the creative spelling he uses for the word “razor”. I don’t know if I should be railing more loudly at this point about dumb males, teachers, or dumb male teachers…

And next thing you know, he’s sent me the strangest payment request of all time. You have to read this to believe it.

From: “Rita Charles”
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Subject: Good day beloved
Date: Mon, 8 Oct 2007 13:53:26 +0100

Good day beloved

View more information via the following website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

After going through your profile through internet i decided to contact you for assistance for distribution of my inheritance. My name is Mrs. Rita Charles Wood; I am suffering from a long time cancer of the breast which also affected my brain I have decided to donate what I have to you/ church. I am 59 years old and I was diagnosed for cancer for about 7 years ago, immediately after the death of my husband, who perished in the flight AF4590 Concorde crash.

I have used part of the money my husband deposited in Kuwait to build orphanage home in Benin Republic and financed many charity homes/organization in Sudan where people has been ravaged my war before I was stopped by my husband’s relatives whose interest is to misuse these funds. Now my situation has gone so bad that I can no longer continue this work coupled with the aggression from my brother in-laws. But most fortunately, a deposit my late husband made in my name in a bank which I wanted to continue the charity work is still untraced by them.

I decided to WILL/donate the sum of $10,500,000 (ten million five hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of the lord, and also to help the Motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows. At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact that my husband’s relatives are around me and my health status. I have adjusted my WILL and my lawyer is aware I have changed my will you and he will arrange the transfer of the funds from my account to you.

I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others. I have contacted my legal consultant and tell him that I have WILLED ($10,500,000.00) to you and I have also notified him that I am WILLING that amount to you for a specific and good work. I know I don’t know you but I have been directed to do this. Thanks and God bless. I will directive you further after hearing from you.

NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don’t want anything that will jeopardize my last wish. And Also I will be contacting with you by email as I don’t want my husband relation or anybody to know because they are always around me.

please kindly send me your contact details as follow so that my attorney can use the information for the change of the account ownership
1. Full name
2. Phone and fax number
3. Address /country
4. Your age and current occupation
Regards,
Rita Charles (Mrs.)

I’ve only ever received this “you’re a good christian, so I’ll trust you to do good works with my wealth after I die” email on phone sex accounts. Don’t you think it might be a more effective scam if they sent it to people who actually consider themselves to be good christians?

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So now I’ll tell you why I avoid Myspace.

To begin with, I was never really inclined to hang out on Myspace, which seems to be absolutely full of people I have nothing whatever in common with. And since I do phone sex, it seems like there’s never enough time to do what you want to do and you need to do. Why waste my time with something that I’m not interested in and which has no potential for business?

A couple of summers ago I was hanging around the house doing phone sex and whatnot. I got IM’d by a guy from out of the blue. He wanted to chat, and chat a lot – ask me sometime what I think about guys who think you have so little to do that you’ll want to chat with them for endless hours. Guys like this tend to fall in love with any girl who will chat back. I think it has to do with being socially disabled, or maybe it just has to do with being a guy, but I digress.

One day he finally convinced me to put up a Myspace profile so I could read his profile and blog. And he convinced me to put up a pic, not exactly a photo like the one you see here, but a pic of my hair from behind. I had this feeling that I was going to get unwanted attention, and most of it was going to be from guys who I was very unlikely to have anything in common with. My thesis here is that it is impossible to judge compatibility based on a small pic, but that doesn’t stop them from trying.

Anyway, he was convinced we were some kind of “soul mates”. Since he just loved long hair, I thouught maybe he’d located me randomly through some sort of yahoo hair group or hair forum I belonged to. Oops, it was random, but actually it was a lot more random than that. He found my yahoo profile with no information but my age and gender in it, and decided based on the decidedly code-like name I had chosen that we were meant for each other.

So I tried to start a profile, but Myspace was not cooperating. It just wasn’t working the way it was supposed to. I ended up trying multiple emails before I was able to create one. Then I tried to upload a photo, and it was, again, not cooperating. Things were going really slow. It didn’t help, of course, that he was sending me two IMs a minute demanding that I update him on my progress. It must have taken an hour and a half if not two hours for me to finish it, all the while trillian sending me those annoying little bleeps about messages arriving.

So finally I’m all done, and I started reading his profile and blog. He posted pictures of him and his wife and kids staying with her family on vacation. Turns out he’s married, but he doesn’t love his wife, and she doesn’t satisfy him. Huh? You put this on the Internet for everybody in the world to see? What were you thinking, that this would make you a chick magnet?

He had learned a bit about long hair from what I’d told him, and he started lecturing to me as if he was my daddy or hairdresser or something. I was really getting annoyed, so I just put him on permanent invisible.

You know, that doesn’t stop somebody from IMing you, but I ignored them and finally they went away. What didn’t go away was the spam from him. Between fundamentalist religious propaganda and heart string plucking pleading to “email everyone you know about this story, they need to get as many emails as they can!” for some hoax, the email just kept on coming.

Finally, after about a year, he IM’d me again. He told me he was divorced now, because his wife wouldn’t “take care of” him. He was clearly thinking of picking up where he thought we left off. I told him flatout that I do phone sex for a living, and it didn’t seem to register. He asked me if I’d “ever had a man.” Umm, you’re not listening. YOU’RE NOT LISTENING, ASSHOLE! This time my messenger client allowed me to block him.

I hardly ever get an email invitation to join a social networking website from him anymore. Guess he’s still holding the flame for me.

Unfortunately, guys tend to be influenced by what they see (aren’t we all?), and guys who watch porn all the time start to think that what they are seeing is in some way a reflection of reality, rather than something which is manufactured to sell to guys with a certain kink.

In any case, there are few postings on the site (aside from a little spam), and no discussion. It’s a private adults only group, and since you won’t see this post or my response unless I share it with you, well, I thought I’d do just that.

I’m a little uncomfortable with just copying it in its entirety, but that’s the best way for you to get the gist of it, which is that this guy is trolling the web for the love of his life. He is very specific about what he is looking for. Just make sure you read the whole thing, all the way to the bottom, where my response is.

My Interests

These are my personal interests as the aspect of cuckolding and gangbangs along with select bisexuality is appealing.

I am a White Male with Strong Cuckold desires. This does not mean I am a sissy pushover or submissive within every aspect of a relationship.

I do lust to live and marry a woman who lusts for gangbangs all the time, or hot one one ones by a guy of her gangbang group. And while doing this she wants a white male cuckold husband to support her in this desire and be there to help her seek and select good safe men.

And I need her to want me to lick hot cum out of her pussy right after she and whoever has just fucked and she is filled full of hot fresh cum just beginning to drizzle from her lips. The woman I envision would be loving and say something like “ok honey, he/they had their turns, while we rest you can come over her and lick my hot pussy / body clean of their cum.” That would be appealing to me instead of a woman who barks get over here now.

And I want my woman to want a white husband while she wants black interracial sex. If she gets pregnant we live with it. Our kids or prior arrangements to be adopted. Either way. But I ask that if she gets pregnant we never know or ask which man did the deposit. One man of several or many fuck friends.

As for our sex, I have a CB-2000 chastity cock cage I play with now and wear by myself for days or a week at a time. It is completely comfortable and able to do anything while wearing it, going to work, around town, jogging, working out etc.

So I need a woman who would love to love me, but deny me penetration sex of me to her in one or all of the following ways.

I would be in my cock cage all the time with her having the keys.

I would be required to lick her pussy every day and night.

She would love to tease and torment me in the most loving of kinky ways. Putting herself all over me while we sleep knowing I’m in my cage and cant get loose.

If she unlocks me to have sex she would also tell me constantly about her big dick men while she lets me fuck her. To tease me.

She might only allow me to fuck her pussy right after she has been black fucked and is full of other mens cum.

She might keep her pussy only for black dick, for pregnancy, and only allow me her ass never her pussy.

She might unlock me out of the cage to jack off watching her get fucked by other men at that time.

She might unlock me out of the cage to jack me off after she has got black fucked hard.

She might set times I have to meet before I am allowed to be unlocked to fuck her or jack off. Keep me locked a week or month at a time.

While I am also licking her every day and night.

And it would be nice if suck woman wants to watch me suck off other men she chooses and watch me get ass fucked by those men as she watches that too. Or get it from her or her gf’s with a strapon.

So I’m a white male cuckold open for chastity, cuckolding gangbangs, lickings, and strapon play.

Please contact me by Email please.

My response:

Re: My Interests

Seriously, dude. You have been watching too much porn.